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Everyone on Twitter is making this same eclipse joke

The solar eclipse is inspiring Twitter humor.

Associated Press

The solar eclipse is inspiring Twitter humor.

Today's total solar eclipse is, of course, a social media event as much as it is a natural phenomenon. Twitter even rolled out an #eclipse hashtag that automatically adds an eclipse emoji.

And, of course, where there's Twitter, there's weird humor. I went on there myself to share an eclipse joke about Eclipse gum, Mitsubishi Eclipses and Twilight: Eclipse, and I thought it was pretty funny, too. 

Then I discovered how unoriginal I was.

ME: Chewing Eclipse, streaming Total Eclipse of the Heart + reading Twilight: Eclipse while browsing Craigslist for used Mitsubishi Eclipses

The only way to watch #SolarEclispe2017 is to be sitting in a Mitsubishi Eclipse,chewing Eclipse gum&listening to #TotalEclipseOfTheHeart

Eclipse glasses, chewing Eclipse gum, listening 2 Total Eclipse of the Heart, thinking of virtual haircuts: e-clips in a Mitsubishi Eclipse.

No glasses. So to prepare, I purchased a Mitsubishi Eclipse , chewing Eclipse gum and listening to total Eclipse of the Heart on repeat. pic.twitter.com/pZxjaVw2C2

 

It gets worse. Not only was I late to the game on Eclipse Day 2017, I was about eight years late overall.

Here is a tweet from 2009. …

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Game of Thrones: 'Beyond the Wall' is dark and full of terrors

Beric Dondarrion (Richard Dormer) and Jon Snow (Kit Harrington) in Game of Thrones Season 7, episode 6.

HBO

Beric Dondarrion (Richard Dormer) and Jon Snow (Kit Harrington) in Game of Thrones Season 7, episode 6.

In the battle between the living and the dead, you win or you get the dragon queen to come rescue you.

This week's episode of Game of Thrones played out only in the North, with Jon Snow's almost failed attempt at bringing back an undead wight as proof of the Night King while Sansa and Arya are at each other's throats about who is less loyal to House Stark.

‘Beyond the Wall' was a wild, devastating ride of a penultimate episode. Let's break it down.

LAST WEEK: 5 game-changing reveals from Eastwatch

Let's address the undead dragon in the room first.

Last night we lost one of Daenerys' beloved dragons, Viserion. Turns out, just like Jon and his men have dragon glass capable of killing the White Walkers, the undead Night King also has an ice spear capable of killing a dragon.

PLOT TWIST: After Daenerys and Jon's men escape the army of the undead atop Drogon, the Night King uses giant heavy chains (that he somehow has) to drag Viserion's body from its watery grave.

With just a touch of his cold, dead hand, the Night King brings Viserion back to life, making the scaly beast into a freaking ZOMBIE DRAGON.

Things are...not looking so good for the living. …

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What to watch and listen to this week: Where to watch the solar eclipse on TV, Constitutional podcast

The Tampa Bay area will see about 80% coverage of the total solar eclipse.

NASA

The Tampa Bay area will see about 80% coverage of the total solar eclipse.

Where to watch the solar eclipse on TV

NASA TV Coverage of the Total Solar Eclipse, noon, CSPAN: NASA TV hosts four hours of the eclipse is it crosses the U.S., the first total solar eclipse visible in any part of the country since 1979.

The Great American Eclipse, 1 p.m., ABC: Coverage from locations across the country, including Lincoln Beach, Ore., Nashville and Charleston, S.C.

Total Solar Eclipse Live, 2:30 p.m., WUSF: Features images from the South Carolina State Museum Observatory telescope and explores the impact on plants and wildlife.

The Total Solar Eclipse, 4 p.m. Weather Channel: Coverage of the first total solar eclipse seen from the U.S. in more than a generation.

NOVA: Eclipse Over America, 9 p.m., PBS: The network does a quick turnaround with a documentary with commentary from scientists and citizens witnessing the first total solar eclipse in more than a generation. Also includes the history of eclipse science and research into the solar corona.

Monday

Dirty Dancing marathon, starting at 7 a.m., Freeform: Who wouldn't want to watch Baby carry a watermelon for 12 hours? Don't worry, they're only airing the 1987 original. …

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In Case You Missed It: U.S. sailors missing after Navy destroyer collides with oil tanker; Comedians Dick Gregory, Jerry Lewis pass away

Dick Gregory in Washington, March 10, 2009. Gregory, the pioneering black satirist who transformed cool humor into a barbed force for civil rights in the 1960s, then veered from his craft for a life devoted to social causes, health regimens and conspiracy theories, died in Washington on Aug. 19, 2017. He was 84.

[Stephen Crowley | The New York Times]

Dick Gregory in Washington, March 10, 2009. Gregory, the pioneering black satirist who transformed cool humor into a barbed force for civil rights in the 1960s, then veered from his craft for a life devoted to social causes, health regimens and conspiracy theories, died in Washington on Aug. 19, 2017. He was 84.

Weekends are great for unwinding, and maybe even unplugging for a little while. Here's what trended that you might have missed if you weren't on social media the last couple days.

10 sailors missing after collision of USS John S. McCain

Search and rescue efforts are underway for 10 U.S. sailors on Monday after the USS John S. McCain, a Navy destroyer, collided with an oil tanker early Monday morning near Singapore.

This is the second time in two months that a Navy destroyer based at the 7th Fleet's home port of Yokosuka, Japan, has been involved in a collision, the Washington Post reports. Seven sailors were killed when the USS Fitzgerald collided with a tanker south of Japan in June.

The incident occurred near the Strait of Malacca around 5:24 a.m. local time, the 7th Fleet said in a statement. A hole was punched into the side of the McCain by the Alnic MC tanker. Several were injured, according to initial reports.  

"The extent of damage and personnel injuries is being determined," the fleet said.

Satirist, activist Dick Gregory dies at 84. Comedian, writer Jerry Lewis dies at 91. …

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What to watch this weekend: 'The Defenders,' 'Halt and Catch Fire,' 'What Happened to Monday'

Charlie Cox, Krysten Ritter, Mike Colter and Finn Jones in The Defenders.

Netflix

Charlie Cox, Krysten Ritter, Mike Colter and Finn Jones in The Defenders.

Slow burn: The Defenders

First there was Daredevil, then Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and Iron Fist followed. Now, the superheroes team up for The Defenders. The new Marvel series on Netflix follows the city's unlikeliest heroes as they struggle with their own personal vendettas while also trying to save New York City. Daredevil, aka Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox), is fresh off giving up his vigilante life and throwing himself back into the grind of pro bono law work after the death of Elektra (Elodie Yung). Jessica Jones (Krysten Ritter) stumbles into an even bigger conspiracy after continuing her private investigation business. Luke Cage (Mike Colter) is trying to help a neighborhood kid get on the right track after another stint in jail. Iron Fist, aka Danny Rand (Finn Jones), comes back to NYC after he gets a whiff of a sinister plot. The four ragtag heroes come together to battle the Hand, a criminal organization referenced in Daredevil and Iron Fist. And Sigourney Weaver is the gang's elusive leader. 3 a.m. Friday, Netflix.

Review: The Defenders brings out the best in Marvel's unlikeliest heroes

This one's personal: Diana - Her Story …

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Spooky Empire brings Spooky Day in the Parks to Disney World

Spooky Day in the Parks comes to Disney World Sept. 22-24.

Spooky Empire

Spooky Day in the Parks comes to Disney World Sept. 22-24.

Foolish mortals, evil queens and hook-handed pirates finally get their own day this year at Walt Disney World.

Spooky Empire, a yearly local horror convention, hosts Spooky Day in the Parks at Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios and Disney's Coronado Springs Resort.

The event, actually three days of mischief and mayhem Sept. 22 to 24, is a way for ghoulish fans to gather and celebrate their love of Disney villains and The Haunted Mansion ride.

"We're huge Disney fans, and we wanted to combine that with Spooky Empire," said Gina Mongelli, who founded Spooky Empire with her husband 14 years ago. "We wanted to do something like Dapper Day but themed around Disney villains."

Like Dapper Day, Mongelli aims to have Spooky Day be an annual gathering of dressed-up fans, but for Disney's more sinister side. Over three days, there will be a "Disney bounding" meetup at Magic Kingdom, two days of a ghostly bizarre at Coronado Springs and two screenings of the fan-made Foolish Mortals documentary about the culture around the Haunted Mansion ride. …

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Five great solar eclipse moments from movies and TV, from 'Mad Men' to 'The Simpsons'

Leonard Nimoy had a cameo in "The Simpsons" episode "Marge vs. the Monorail," which also features an eclipse.

FOX

Leonard Nimoy had a cameo in "The Simpsons" episode "Marge vs. the Monorail," which also features an eclipse.

As Monday's in-real-life solar eclipse approaches, let's take a look back at some fictional eclipses (or in some cases, fictional depictions of actual solar eclipses) from movies and television.

Widely considered to be among the greatest Simpsons episodes from the Simpsons' greatest era, "Marge vs. the Monorail," written by a young Conan O'Brien, features a fantastic eclipse joke narrated by Leonard Nimoy.

 

 

Kevin Arnold misses his chance to see a solar eclipse because he's too busy chickening out on a plan to flsh a cherry bomb down a toilet during a field trip to the planetarium.

 

 

The best-timed solar eclipse ever saves "Jaguar Paw" from becoming the victim of a gruesome human sacrifice when a priest interprets it as a sign from the gods that they've had enough blood for today in Mel Gibson's movie about the Mayans.

 

The 1963 solar eclipse plays a role in Stephen King's book and this film adaptation of Dolores Claiborne, in which Kathy Bates' Dolores lures her husband into falling down a deadly hole just as the eclipse is taking place.

 

 …

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Mindy Kaling confirms rumored pregnancy, plus other celeb baby news

AP

Baby news: Mindy Kaling is going to be a mom! The Mindy Project star confirmed her long rumored pregnancy during an interview on NBC's Today show. "I have a lot of control over a lot of aspects of my life and this is one where I'm like, 'Okay, it's out of my hands,' which is kind of a fun feeling," she said. Kaling also talked about her late mother, who Kaling said was "incredibly fierce and so devoted," adding that she hoped she could giver her child the same support her mother gave her. This will be Kaling's first child. Kaling, 38, has not revealed the identity of the father. The full Today interview airs Sept. 10.

Baby news: Country singer-songwriter Thomas Rhett and his wife, Lauren Akins, welcomed their second daughter on Aug. 12 -- a girl named Ada James. "Our baby girl is here sweet Ada James Akins came into the world at 10:28 last night after almost 36 hours of labor (only Jesus got me through that-& she is sooo worth it)," Akins wrote on Instagram. The couple became pregnant while in the process of adopting their daughter, Willa Gray, from Africa. "It's funny to me how we tried so hard and then we didn't try at all and it happened," she told People. …

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Emma Stone named world's highest-paid actress in 2017

Getty Images

At the ripe age of 28, Emma Stone is now the highest paid actress in the world.

The star earned $26 million during Forbes' 12 month scoring period, mostly thanks to her role in the Oscar-winning La La Land. The movie-musical, which gave Stone a Best Actress win, earned $445.4 million at the global box office.

Before the Forbes announcement, Stone spoke out about the Hollywood pay gap.

"In my career so far, I've needed my male co-stars to take a pay cut so that I may have parity with them. And that's something they do for me because they feel it's what's right and fair. That's something that's also not discussed, necessarily-that our getting equal pay is going to require people to selflessly say, "That's what's fair." If my male co-star, who has a higher quote than me but believes we are equal, takes a pay cut so that I can match him, that changes my quote in the future and changes my life," she said in an interview with Out.

How did the rest of the women from the City of Stars fare? …

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Beach Drive mural is a first for St. Pete's swanky waterfront street

This mural in progress is on the side of the Smith & Associates building on Beach Drive in St. Petersburg.

Christopher Spata | Times

This mural in progress is on the side of the Smith & Associates building on Beach Drive in St. Petersburg.

Mural mania in St. Petersburg is spreading east.

While the number of urban murals in St. Pete has been quickly multiplying in the Central Arts District, Grand Central District and other areas west of downtown for years, this week brings the debut of the first large-scale mural on Beach Drive near the downtown waterfont.

Artist Derek Donnelly has incorporated banyan trees, palm trees, the bay, beer and a sea turtle into the mural on the side of the Smith & Associates Real Estate building at 330 Beach Drive NE. He said he expected to complete the mural on Thursday night.

“Much like street artists have strived to bring art to the masses, the outdoor murals throughout St. Petersburg are a way to bring art to the people," Bob Glaser, founder of Smith & Associates Real Estate said in a statement. "...the busy corridor of Beach Drive was an excellent opportunity to bring art to our local population and the tourists traveling here."

SHINE: We have dates for the Shine Mural Festival 2017

VIDEO: 112 murals in Tampa and St. Pete in under three minutes

MURAL MANIA: He tried to profit from St. Pete's murals, then felt the artist's wrath …

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Rose Marie, star on 'Dick Van Dyke Show,' wins over Twitter at 94

Rose Marie quickly gained thousands of followers with this plea.

Twitter

Rose Marie quickly gained thousands of followers with this plea.

Today's must-follow Twitter account belongs to a 94-year-old actress whose 90-year(!) career spans back to the days of Vaudeville, making her one of that era's last surviving stars. 

Though it was probably Rose Marie's bluntly honest call for Twitter followers that scored her more than 40,000 new ones this week. 

Ok kids, I'm 94 now & not sure how much longer I'll be doing this, so could you do an old broad a favor & ask your friends to follow me? xo pic.twitter.com/h4V1JPe6ja

Well kids I am just blown away. 40K new followers I can't believe it. Sure hope I can come up with some interesting tweets for you. pic.twitter.com/eSKBYYGf0K

Marie, a child star on NBC radio in the '30s, found her most famous role as writer Sally Rogers on the Dick Van Dyke Show in the 1960s, though her career includes a role on Broadway as well as dozens of feature films and TV shows. The New York Post recently interviewed her about befriending "Uncle" Al Capone when she was working with Milton Berle at age 10 in a Chicago theater.

Her colorful life and career is the subject of a forthcoming documentary film titled Wait For Your Laugh: The Longest Career in Showbiz History. …

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Heidi Klum tells designers upset over dressing models of all sizes to 'get with it'

Getty Images

Make it work, designers.

For the first time, Project Runway is including models of all sizes on the show, and super model host Heidi Klum said some of the designers competing were not on board with the change.

"A lot of them actually weren't too happy about it," Klum, 44, told Entertainment Tonight.

Klum said she's been wanting to have models of different sizes on the runway for a while now.

"I believe we should have done (it) already years and years and years ago. So I'm happy though that now this season, we're starting," she said.

As for the designers, Klum had some good advice: get over it.

via GIPHY

"This is the real world. Not everyone is, you know, runway figure or what the runway figure used to be," she said. "You have to dress real people, and real people come in different sizes: short, tall, more voluptuous, skinny. There is many of us, and so a real designer needs to know how to do that. So get with it."

The 16th season premieres Thursday on Lifetime.

 

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Anna Faris talks about her split from Chris Pratt: 'Life is too short'

AP

For the first time, Anna Faris has spoken publicly about her unexpected split from Chris Pratt.

During her Unqualified podcast, Faris offered up some relationship advice to a caller, telling listeners to know their own worth.

"Life is too short to be in relationships where you feel this isn't fully right or somebody doesn't have your back, or somebody doesn't fully value you," she said. "Don't be afraid to feel your independence if things aren't right."

"I made that mistake, I think, a little bit, like ‘I'm checking my relationship off the list' and if that would be the final piece of advice I could give you, that would be know your worth, know your independence," she said.

PREVIOUS COVERAGE: After 8 years, Chris Pratt and Anna Faris are calling it quits

Faris made sure to thank her "dear listeners," for their support after the seperation was announced on Facebook.

The celeb couple were married for eight years and share a 5-year-old son.

 

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Review: 'The Defenders' brings out the best in Marvel's unlikeliest heroes

Mike Colter, Scott Glenn, Finn Jones, Krysten Ritter and Charlie Cox in The Defenders.

Netflix

Mike Colter, Scott Glenn, Finn Jones, Krysten Ritter and Charlie Cox in The Defenders.

The ties that bind Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and Iron Fist run deep. But they're just starting to figure all that out in The Defenders.

The new Marvel Netflix series that teams up Matt Murdock/Daredevil (Charlie Cox), Jessica Jones (Krysten Ritter), Luke Cage (Mike Colter) and Danny Rand/really-wants-someone-to-call-him-Iron-Fist (Finn Jones) does a stellar job of weaving their standalone stories together while also bringing in a formidable villain for the four to fight.

The not-super heroes are loners by choice or circumstance, but reluctantly agree to band together to take on the city's next evil. And the new series does a good job of refreshing us on each character and what they've been up to since their standalone series without feeling like an information dump. …

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MoviePass offers unlimited movies at theaters for $10 a month — what you need to know

MoviePass will let customers see up to one movie, every day, for $10 a month.

iStockphoto

MoviePass will let customers see up to one movie, every day, for $10 a month.

There's now a service that says it will let you watch as many movies as you want for one monthly price: MoviePass. 

It's not online streaming, or kiosk rentals, but new movies in theaters, up to one per day, every single day, for $10 a month.

MoviePass isn't actually a new service, it's been around for several years with a higher price tag, but many, many people found out about it on Tuesday when the CEO, a Netflix co-founder and former Redbox exec, implemented a radical move to drop the price to $10 per month.

Interest was so high that the site MoviePass site crashed and the app slowed to a crawl, with frustrating error messages and non-responsive customer service, but, if you were determined and patient, you could eventually sign up for a subscription (I know, because I did). 

How can MoviePass offer this service for $10 a month when the cost of a single movie ticket can be more than that? According to Bloomberg, the company just sold a large stake to a data company, which likely plans to sell that sweet, sweet data on your movie-going habits. It must be valuable, since MoviePass will reportedly pay the theater for the full price of a ticket every time you use it. …

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